Failed

I got my result already and it's not as satisfying as what I expected. I failed. That is the worst result I ever had. Sure I got scolded, I deserve it. I'm gonna have to do the resets and hope that I will do better. I really have to work hard. I mean really really hard. Huh, I'm really upset. Things happened I just have to do better next time. Got nothing new to share. Guess I will post when everything's better. I'm always praying for a better future.

Results

Yeap the results will be out tomorrow. Too bad I can't see mine cause I haven't paid all of the remaining balance. Huu.. It's not that I can't pay it all but there's just something I need to deal with first. I really wish I could see it. *sigh*

I will start working this week. huu~ nervous, can't wait too hee~ Money!! That's the most wonderful part. I'm so gonna be an adult. I really miss my old life, I miss performing. I am gonna perform one day after all of this are done.

I've watched 'Kung Fu Dunk' last.. I'm not sure what day ehee =p Yes, this guy from the movie name Bolin Chen. Oh my god he's soo cute! huh got some pictures here..


Now you know what I'm talking about?.. hahaa He's sooo fine... *sigh*...

Just got back from Lumut. I did have fun =) Last friday we went to Miri, it was ok.. We ate at the 'Dragon Seafood'. Ohh it was soo yummy!! Marvellous heh I just love crabss. I stayed in Lumut since friday after going back from Miri. It's good to be home. Wish I could stay there longer. I'm going back to college again tomorrow. I'm nervous!! :-0 haa. Plus my result will be out on tuesday. God save me~ Hope everything will be fine.

I'm really tired now.. Don't feel like typing. Need to get some sleep. Night..

Happy Chinese New Year!

Went to the Mall again. Was accompanying my aunt and her daughter. Did some shopping, it was ok.. As always Mall is never empty. But this time no chinese ( I tink so..) haha! I mean it's the Chinese New Year's Eve so yea.. Seen fireworks around. Nice! I'm sure the chinese are having lots of fun ryte now.. haha! Getting drunk and stuff. heh understood. I am half chinese but we don't really celebrate it, like really2.. We just visit our chinese relatives (The ones that is still living in Brunei cause some of them are in Miri and I'm not sure where else.. hehee..). My favourite part is getting the 'ampau'. Haha yes! money bebeh! Mybe we're going to KB this friday to visit our relatives. Hah 'ampau' please..

Got nothing else to say. Feel like sleeping already. Will post again tomorrow. Byes..

Lonely II

Just got back. Went to Escapade and to the Mall. Enjoyed my dinner, I just love Japanese food. Nice.. Mall, as always never empty. Full with youngsters, couples.. yea~ envy them. How I use to be one of them. My time is just over. Ok, don't wanna cry forever. I just have to move on. I don't know what god has for me in the future. I'm really trying to take it positively. Just need to be strong.

Lonely

To think I'm so naive How dare you Play with me?

I gave you Heart and soul

Tell me baby, please

Why you screwing With my head?

I don't think You understand

I won't take your

No more

Don't knock on my door

Not this time

Because I recognize

I've heard it all before

Think of all the times That I've wasted

Think of all the times That I took you back

Ain't no way I'll be lonely

I don't wanna Let you back in

Let's just face it (Face it)

Better off alone and I won't turn back

Thought that I would be lonely

I don't wanna Let you back in

Don't tell me How to feel

Or say that You're for real

My mind's made up I'm cool without you

You got no more appeal

Now this girl Don't need no man

Says what she can do What she can

Now I live for me

Boy does that Make you weep?

Not this time Because I realize

I've heard it all before

Think of times You made me cry

You had me so confused

I'm tired of trying

Leave behind this

What's a girl to do

Think of all the times You made me sick

I used to think I couldn't handle it

What you think I'm just another chick?

Messed with me Boy you must Have tripped

What were you thinkin' When you lost my trust?

You had it all now You're left with nothing

Oh baby, now I know you Want my touch

And now you're lonely And you still want me

I'm not as mad as the words above. Upset? Noo.. that's not how I feel ( but maybe a little =p). It's just motivating. I need that. Those aren't my rhymes but I do write ok.. Those are the lyrics for Britney's song called 'Lonely' from her third album named 'Britney' which was released in 2001. Love that album. 2001, hmm I was studying in Sekolah Menengah Sayyidina Othman, Tutong. Still a form 1 student. How did I look like? Hah It's 4 me 2 know and 4 you to find out. But really don't bother to find out, you don't wanna know=p Kinda miss the old days.. How I wish I could turn back time. *sigh* Its you Zy that I miss the most. Miss the times when we used to gossip on the stairs.. Uhuu! Love u woman.



Lonely, that's not exactly how I feel. I still have my friends and family around me. Supporting me, being there for me and accepting me the way I am. I'm not in this alone. Still I don't feel complete. I guess all I need is someone to hold, someone to love, someone who'll love me for me, someone to share my tears and joys with, simply saying all I need is someone special.

Change

Hello - hello.. heh! just doing ok.. Thank Q god. Done my exam already. Dunno if i'd do good or maybe pass. Damn scared ;'( Hopefully I will. There's just lots in my head. I just can't concentrate in my studies. It's really affecting me. God... The results will be out this week. Huu~ Just hoping for the best ;) N yes I will be working in Takaful BIBD again.. This time as a full time staff or should I say permanent staff. Still studying in LCB though but only as a part time student. My classes will only be in the evenings. So yea.. Hope that I will be a better person. I'm gonna be studying and working at the same time, hope that I could cope with everything

Yesterday was Che Yus's B'day.. Happy B'day Che Yus!!

[Me, Che' Yus & Sis at the Airport, Thailand]

I'm not sure how old she is now.. hah I'm so bad. Ok, she's my mother's younger sister. She take care of me and my sister when my parents and my grandma passed away. We move back to Lumut and stayed there with her and my grandpa of my mother's side. I'm not staying in Lumut nemore cause need to go to college and work. Only return on weekends but my sister is still there. She's working at the BLNG now. Earn lots of cash but a bit stingy. Haha! sorry!! I got tat stinginess from her. Nways, a good woman she is. Love her.

Shalimar Bennington